The new “Fast & Furious” movie “F9” hits theaters today.
In this one, John Cena is the bad guy. He’s joining the cast as Dom’s evil brother Jakob. The team also learns that Han is alive after faking his own death.
To celebrate the movie’s release, here’s my list of “Fast and Furious” movies from WORST to BEST…
- “The Fate of the Furious”, 2017. – WHAT HAPPENED HERE?? After 3 solids movies of high octane, over the top action, we got this slog of a movie. It’s forgettable, Dom’s drama storyline is so lame and while they did have a car chase that involved a submarine, there were very few memorable set pieces to talk about after the film. Fate is a stinker.
- “F9”, 2021. – I’m hoping this is not a trend, but F9 bring in more of the same Dom drama in the form of his brother. The action scenes have devolved to a CGI yawn-fest. But, Han is back, so that’s cool.
- “Fast & Furious”, 2009 – Before Marvel teamed up Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk and more for a massive blockbuster event, the Fast franchise did it first. If you remember the first 3 films, most characters didn’t show up more than one of those movies. Suddenly, The Fast and the Furious‘ Dominic Torretto is teamed up with Tokyo Drift‘s Han Lue and 2 Fast 2 Furious‘ Roman Pierce and Tej Parker. THAT was cool. The movie however, was fine. They had to drive through tunnels… Bringing the first 3 films together finally was a cool concept but the story and action were lacking in this first modern Fast movie
- “2 Fast 2 Furious”, 2003 – Possibly the dumbest title in the Fast film franchise is the passable but forgettable 2 Fast 2 Furious. It’s a fine movie, as Hollywood tries to figure out what to do for a sequel to their first Point Break rip-off hit.
- “The Fast and the Furious”, 2001 – Go back to this movie today with the knowledge that the Fast characters are now practically super heroes saving the world, and it makes this film about street racers stealing DVD players way more fun. The thefts are memorable and since, again, it’s a Point Break rip-off, there is a memorable story in Brian’s deception of Dom and his crew. The film is so far-removed from the modern movies, but it’s fun to revisit for nostalgia and ironic watches.
- “Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw”, 2019 – Okay, before we get to my favorite Fast movies, I gotta mention this surprisingly successful spin-off movie. While Tokyo Drift should be considered the first spin-off from the main Fast storyline… whatever that is, this film paired up two of the Fast crew’s favorite characters in a very dumb and fun movie. Seriously, logic flies out the window as The Rock and Furious 7‘s villain, Deckard Shaw (Jason Stathom) take on a super-powered Idris Alba with martial arts, spears and jokes about hating each other… If junk food was a movie, it would be Hobbs and Shaw and I like it for that.
- “Fast & Furious 6”, 2013 – I hate that I have to talk about this movie before Fast Five, but that’s just where this one lies in the ranking. F&F 6 maintains the excellent action and pacing of Fast Five. The only thing that sets this movie below the next two are its villain, Owen Shaw. He’s fine and the plot to capture him in exchange for amnesty works well here. Owen just serves as a passable villain like those of F2 and F4. He’s no antagonist like Luke Hobbs or Deckard Shaw (didn’t I just talk about those two?). Which brings me to…
- “Furious 7”, 2015 – I love Deckard Shaw. His hospital visit to see his brother, Owen, was such a great (and very dumb) introduction for the character. Technically he was teased at the end of FF6 when he “killed” Han in a post credits scene, but this is what I remember when I think back to meeting Jason Stathom’s character. Furious 7 is all high’s in the Fast franchise with the team coming together to stop a threat more menacing than the previous film. I challenge you not to cry in the Paul Walker/Brian farewell scene at the end. And Vin Diesel and Jason Stathom fight on top of a crumbling building. Again it’s DUMB, but I love it. Hey, speaking of love…
- “Fast Five” – 2011 This was when the modern Fast movies (4-9) hit their stride. While the previous movie brought together cast members from the first 3 movies for the first time, this one amped up everything: fun, stupid stunts, the introduction of Hobbs, who is trying to prevent the Fast team from robbing a corrupt businessman. Anyone who has seen all these movies remembers the safe heist. Physics are tossed out the window for that one and audiences are thankful for that. SOLID MOVIE. Again, speaking of…
- “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift”, 2006 – I’m self aware enough to realize, I’m probably in the minority for this one. But I’m making my claim, Tokyo Drift is the best Fast movie. It features the best driving stunts of the series, has an actual storyline that doesn’t feel like it was written in crayon, takes time to explore the culture of Japan and integrate it into the plot and feature the most Han you’ll get out of any Fast movie. In Fast character rankings, it goes: 3. Deckard Shaw 2. Hobbs 1. Han… and in movie rankings, this takes the prize.
