Forget the gold—on Sunday, August 24, Chicagoans will compete for the chrome (dome) at the inaugural Bald-Off competition.
We may have reached the saturation point for celebrity lookalike contests, so this bald and beautiful event is coming in the nick of time to keep us entertained. Leaving the event open to people rocking a bald cap feels a little like cheating, but we’ll let it slide since we’re about to have a whole fleet of Mr. (and Ms.) Cleans to look at when the contest starts at 6pm at Lincoln Park’s Self-Portrait sculpture in the AIDS Garden.
TikTok’s @chicago.bald.off has been teasing the event with videos showing a flier around town that reads: “This is not a drill. This is a COMPETITION” to find both the “Baddest Baldie” and “Baldest Baddie” in Chicagoland. And yes, they are absolutely leaning into celebs, featuring pics of iconic bald celebrities like Pitbull and Cynthia Erivo as aspirational role models.
What prompted a tug-of-war between clean-shaven heads? We may never know, but let’s chalk it up to creative rebellion inflamed by a sweaty summer. We’re picturing a mix of swagger, community and a little bit of theatrical flair from proud Chicagoans eager to strut their bald stuff on the Lakefront. It’s enough to get your head spinning in addition to gleaming.
The prize is still a mystery, though organizers promise something worthy of the crème de la crème of Chicago baldies. (But if the prize is a golden cue ball, we may rebel by growing out our hair.)
So if you’ve ever wanted to be rewarded for keeping your dome shiny and bright while saving money at the barber, gather your baldest and baddest crew, practice your best Stone Cold Steve Austin glare and head for the park. Whether you’re bald-and-bold or bald-for-this, the Bald-Off is one of those singular Chicago moments. A contest that’s equal parts performance art and friendly oddball gathering, the Bald-Off may just be the most hilarious, head-turning event this August.
Mark your calendars, free your follicles and prepare for history to be made, one reflective scalp at a time.
